Jenny

Allow me to tell you the story, now, of a fiercely defiant, individualistic, and a stubborn little girl. A little asshole. A girl that lived slightly out of sync with the rest of the world, ground down into a deep depression over the years by the expectations, judgement, and disappointments of family and society at large. Allow me to tell you the true story of the curious, wonderful, and often painful life this girl lived, until one fine day, she woke up with a purpose and shouted at the sky, “I don’t give a flying fuck if you think I’m an asshole anymore!”

And on that day, the little asshole earned her crown.

Chess Queen, Wikipedia

After much toiling, sacrifices, and about thirty hours of crushing work, the first real page of Queen of Assholes is complete. I am looking forward to showing my chops as a more dramatic writer and storyteller. Queen is the combination and culmination of everything I have worked toward for most of my life.

I am working twelve and fourteen hour days, almost seven days a week, to build the necessary finances and momentum to see this through to success. The pages will finish faster as the full-page format grows more intuitive with experience. The introduction is somewhat self-contained (a sort of “mission statement” piece) and I plan to self-publish that as a magazine-sized floppy in the spring of next year. After that, it will be 2-4 years before I can publish a formal Volume One, depending on the speed at which I am able to produce. It will continue to be serialized online as a webcomic. I have, very tentatively, two more videos planned that correspond with parts of the introduction, but they are dependent upon some harder to get footage and rights to music.

I never grew up.

For multiple reasons, this was, emotionally and physically speaking, the most difficult video I have made. Due to the heat, hat, black clothing, and spinning, I got quite sick while filming the ride footage, which was made back in June. I chose to feature some photographs of me as a baby, along with my mother, who passed away in 2010 at the age of only 59. The drawings were made in 1984, at age four, and are the earliest surviving examples of anything I have drawn. They are contrasted against my latest work, where I have continued to push the limits of my artistic and creative abilities. This song is a personal favourite of mine, both for its simplicity, and the dual purpose I have given it here — the struggle to be seen and loved for what I am by my parents, and the desire to eventually find a partner capable of walking alongside me.

My work is lonely work, but it is a Faustian bargain I consciously and willingly made. I am blessed to have a motley crew of caring and supportive friends, without whom what I am doing would be virtually impossible. I am blessed to have some of the most dedicated readers in the world, some having followed me for nearly two decades. It is through your love that I discovered my own strength. It is because of you, that discouragement cannot touch me.

Perhaps someday I will find my King of Assholes.


via GIPHY

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