[VIDEO BLOG] EAT THE LEMONS

Posted in video on July 11th, 2019 by Jin Wicked – Comments Off on [VIDEO BLOG] EAT THE LEMONS

When life gives you lemons, eat them.

Please Support my Work
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http://support.jinwicked.com/

Life has been a struggle lately. I am attempting to have MnDOT reimburse me at least partially for almost $300 that I had to spend to replace a nearly-new tire and one rim, after striking a large pothole at night. The $20-$50 copays for my therapist, psychiatrist, and prescriptions have taken a huge bite out of my personal budget. Since I have started producing more work (eye strain), I have been plagued with frequent headaches. I found a couple of my old (like 10-20 years) pairs of glasses, but I need an eye exam. And to purchase new lenses and/or frames. And to see a dentist. It is costly even with insurance.

I am doing my best to balance all this with reinvesting into my business, and bringing my work to new conventions and venues in the Midwest and around the country. I am also seeking an affordable civil attorney — if you are, or you can recommend one — to consult regarding intellectual property issues.

August will be a difficult month. I have picked up about 40 additional hours at my day job, and will be returning to my commission waiting list soon. I did not come so far, or work so hard, to give up or be discouraged. If you have been considering signing up for my Patreon, making a one-time gift/contribution, or purchasing some artwork, now is an extremely helpful time to do so.

[VIDEO BLOG] Tablet Scribblin’

Posted in video on June 26th, 2019 by Jin Wicked – Comments Off on [VIDEO BLOG] Tablet Scribblin’

Fall book release, commission and Patreon updates, 2020 event planning.

Minnesota Pocket Pet Rescue
http://mnpocketpetrescue.org

Please Support my Work
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http://support.jinwicked.com/

On Empathy

Posted in health on June 23rd, 2019 by Jin Wicked – Comments Off on On Empathy

People that get to know me usually learn quickly that I loathe most television and movies. A strong component of this, until recently, has been the ADHD. I struggle to sit through a movie in the theatre when I cannot get up and walk around, pause it, or do something else simultaneously. It might also explain why I generally have an easier time watching cartoons and movies designed for children, with their shorter runtimes and faster-paced editing. Shows with repetitive music and laugh tracks also make me feel overstimulated.

Some recent experiences have caused me to take a deeper look at this.

When I emerged from my zombie-like depression in 2014, one of the issues I was consciously working on was empathy. I felt at that time I suffered from a lack of empathy; however, thanks to my therapist and the MMPI test, I better understand that I am/was burdened by egocentrism. Egocentrism, plainly put, means that it is difficult to distinguish the self from others and to view things from another person’s perspective. I think most people are egocentric to one degree or another. It becomes an issue when it interferes with your ability to function, or to maintain healthy boundaries within relationships.

I have lived a very isolated life, having few meaningful friendships or people I could trust to be myself with or honestly confide in, especially in my formative years. My parents violated my trust irreparably. Friendships with women have suffered due to lack of common interests, often, and male friendships tend to eventually deteriorate due to sexual attraction or romantic feelings. So other than my limited exposure to fiction, I spend a lot of time in my own head.

Now, I have been sort-of passively watching the series Mad Men on Netflix for the past few weeks, on one of my monitors behind my drawing tablet while I work. I am not going to spoiler a show that ended in 2015, so bail now if you must. There is a scene near the beginning of the show where Joan, the office manager, is pushed onto Don Draper’s office floor and raped by her fiancĂ©. In a later scene, she is coerced into having sex with a potential client for the ad agency in exchange for his car company’s business. Though neither scene is filmed in graphic detail, there is enough footage book-ending both acts that your mind is able to imagine the rest. Both of these scenes left me crying and nearly shaking with rage. It was after that I began to notice how emotionally-drained and exhausted these dramas made me, and I realized that the other part of not enjoying them was too much empathy with the characters.

For similar reasons, I cannot tolerate cringe-shows like The Office, where I am supposed to laugh at someone embarrassing or humiliating themselves.

My current job requires compassion and empathy daily, and has even offered me a unique window to compare my interactions with those of my coworkers. It is easy to distinguish those for whom care is “just a job” versus those who actually care about the residents. And through my observations I have seen that, other than sometimes missing social cues, I am relatively normal.

It has been painful to observe people I have known be repeatedly abused by their partner, or engage in self-destructive and self-defeating behaviour. Here I have had to learn to maintain better boundaries, or simply walk away.

And in other instances, because I cared more about not upsetting someone, or put someone else’s happiness before my own, I have endured behaviours that made me profoundly uncomfortable, or left me feeling used and violated. I have allowed other (equally, or more dysfunctional) people to tell me what is “wrong” with me when I reacted poorly, or even reasonably, to abusive or unhealthy behaviours. The further distance I am from these relationships, the more clearly I can see their toxicity; not just my own, but from the other side. I have been burdened and weighed down by a mind-breaking amount of guilt and shame that was never really mine to begin with. And for the most part, I have bitten my tongue, due to fears of retaliation or retribution. I have been fighting this dissonance between my reality as I perceive it, and what I have been told or manipulated into believing my reality “is” or “should” be.

I am wise to this trickery, and it will not work on me anymore.

I have made significant progress in recognizing and eliminating my own toxic behaviours. The quality of my close relationships has improved immensely.

Through building professional relationships with colleagues I respect, positive feedback, and constructive criticism from unbiased sources, I have gradually repaired the damage dealt to my self-confidence. I am good and have value. My work is good and has value. No one can take that away from me.

I am getting better and doing better every day.

[VIDEO BLOG] The Autobiographer

Posted in video on June 13th, 2019 by Jin Wicked – Comments Off on [VIDEO BLOG] The Autobiographer

Continuing to make progress and finish new work.

Please Support my Work
http://patreon.com/jinwicked
http://support.jinwicked.com/

Creator Spotlight: Doug Kallberg

Posted in spotlight on June 5th, 2019 by Jin Wicked – Comments Off on Creator Spotlight: Doug Kallberg

“Creator spotlight” is a recurring feature of this blog where once per month, I introduce you to the biography and creative work of some of my best friends and colleagues. Please take a moment to learn about them!

This spotlight is on friend Doug Kallberg. In Doug’s own words…


“Doug Kallberg is an illustrator, cartoonist, graphic designer, and painter. He draws inspiration from the likes of Bill Watterson, Will Eisner, and many more artists far more talented than he is.”

GOT Cover by Doug Kallberg

“Doug has been drawing Pandora’s Box for his company Free Range Studios for nearly ten years, and has produced comics of the strip between being the artist on The Kingdom of Loathing licensed comic book series by the gaming company of the same name. His books have been featured at San Diego Comic-con International, MCBA Conventions, The Walker Art Center, and have sold internationally.”

CON-Life by Doug Kallberg

“He has had his own business for over a decade doing illustration and graphics for contracts, making logos, material for print and web for various companies around the Minneapolis metro area and Minnesota including: The Monday Night Comedy Show, The Comedy Corner Underground, the 10,000 Laughs comedy festival, Stand Up! Records, Dangerous Man Brewing, Sisyphus Brewing and various local members of the Minneapolis comedy scene, as well as art for St. Paul Saint’s ‘Ushertainers.’ He currently resides in the farthest reaches of the twin cities with his wife and daughter.”

Pandora's Box by Doug Kallberg

Learn more:
Free Range Studios
Free Range Studios @ Facebook
Doug Kallberg @ Instagram