Today is a peaceful and sleepy Saturday; a welcome day of solitude. Outside, the air is cold and the less-travelled streets are iced over. Inside, I am sitting here savouring the odd and awkward lull between Christmas and New Year’s Day. I spent Christmas Day with Stephen and his wonderful family. They have always gone out of their way to make sure I feel welcomed and included, and are some of the warmest and most hospitable people I have ever met. After eating and catching up, they invariably cajole me into playing some variety of table-top game, which I protest for show, but always enjoy. Telestrations was the latest selection, which I claimed was a little too much like work! However, I love that they focus on activities and conversations that build relationships, unlike my family, which blasted television through every dinner then gathered immediately around it afterward. The television, which I have come to loathe, was the inescapable centerpiece of every function and holiday with my family. Bog forbid we do anything substantive to connect to each other intellectually as human beings. Best you stare at the flickering screen, and try not to make too much direct eye contact or engage anyone beyond trivialities.
“Staring at a screen together” also describes the gist of my marriage.
I am beginning 2019 with a new day job that I hope will reinvigorate me and my energy levels. After twenty years in my current industry, there is not much left for me to learn or anywhere to go. I made the decision before Christmas to push myself out of my final remaining comfort zone, and reboot my career path. I view my self-employed and employee lives like the two parallel rails of a train track — both necessary to propel me forward with maximum stability. I will be keeping my current job for a while, working two jobs until I have paid off all debts and replenished my emergency funds. It will be rough, but I have done it before. My new position will also include another pay cut, but it offers more opportunity for both professional and personal growth in the long-term. It also offers a way to give back to the community. Over the past three years, as I have endeavoured to live a minimalist life and shunned more and more of consumerism, I have grown weary of working in sales-related fields. Stuff, especially mass-produced, purposeless, transient, plastic stuff, drains the life out of me. I can only see its eventual destination in a landfill.
But seriously, I had a lovely Christmas.
This was not meant to be a depressing monologue about entropy.
I went to the doctor last week, and I am quite healthy, if you happened to be concerned about that. Though I need to see a dentist. My blood panels were superb, and my blood pressure is always in the low 100s/60-70s range. I am looking at possibly moving soon to save money. My expenses have increased steadily this year, and my current situation is not sustainable much longer. My gym membership is the only luxury I have left to cut, and I really do not want to do that. Right now everything is in the “exploring options” phase.
Despite all this, I feel fairly optimistic about the coming year, and I have finally escaped the artistic slump that has been weighing on me for a while now. My birthday will be here before long, and being almost forty is not too bad so far. I have a lot of life left in me, yet. And it is time to get back to work.