MSP Fallcon 2019

Posted in health, work on October 13th, 2019 by Jin Wicked – Comments Off on MSP Fallcon 2019

The leaves on the trees around my home are all turning crimson, orange, and gold in their most jarring and short-lived transition of the year — summer into fall. Unlike the gradual, sleepy-slow unfurling of spring after the winter’s melt, fall explodes into colours which are gone almost as suddenly as they appear. We have already had our first light dusting of snow. The radiators bubble and whistle, as the daylight hours grow ever-shorter. Winter is coming.

Stephen and I made an appearance together for LionCon in Saint Cloud, MN. It suffered from unfortunately dismal attendance, due to location and multiple venue changes, but as a result I got some forced rest. The drive up and hotel were comfortable, and it was great to see my new booth layout with the pipe and drape. The evening weather was perfect for walking downtown.

Jin Wicked at LionCon

The headaches I was frequently suffering over the summer have mostly gone away since getting my new glasses. (The frames I am wearing in the picture below were purchased when I lived in Minnesota back in 2000 — I had them re-lensed.) My vision had indeed become a bit worse, which is a real problem with the volumes of drawing, reading small texts and screens, and otherwise over-working my eyes that I do relentlessly. I am probably actively worsening my vision by doing these things, but it is an inevitable hazard of the job(s).

Jin Wicked at MSP Fallcon 2019

All of my accounting and book-keeping is finally, completely, totally up-to-date and fixed. All necessary documents have been amended and filed. Everything possible that can be automated is now automated. Such a shadow was lifted by finally overcoming that task. I will have 2019’s filings ready in January!

Earlier this summer, I was also starting to suffer persistent back pain from my day job, a very common occurrence in care-giving. It took about two or three weeks of conscious and deliberate effort to retrain myself to squat instead of bending at the waist or twisting, but I have seen dramatic results. I basically get paid to do dozens of body-weight squats per day! My core and legs have noticeably strengthened, as transfers have become easier. Especially-so for bodies my size or slightly larger. Perhaps some day I shall achieve my dreams of comforting the sick and dying, while being strong enough to crush a man’s skull between my thighs. I mean… a watermelon. Crush a watermelon.

Jin Wicked at MSP Fallcon 2019

We had a wonderful MSP Fallcon this year! The convention started with a cold and rainy morning, but traffic rallied around noon, and stayed strong right up until close. The energy was good, and I made enough money to take some of the sting out my large LionCon loss. Special thanks to my friend Michael, who helped with photography! I was able to get the photos uploaded and tagged (for as many as I could!) on Facebook by the following Monday night.

I have been privileged this year to assist with the promotional materials and T-shirt layouts for the convention. Alongside the other contributing designers, I would like to bring a more unified appearance and voice to the convention. I was able to assist with the website for this fall show as well, and am looking forward to making further improvements over the winter for spring. I hope to expand the convention’s footprint across the Internet and social media. Over the course of setup and during the show, I spent a few hours collecting cards and getting to know my fellow creators a little better. I LOVED the eagerness from everyone, excited to share with me what they enjoy most about tabling at the show! Their communication and feedback is essential to promoting the individual creators and the show as a whole. A rising tide lifts all boats.

I am so grateful for the opportunity to give back to this show which has given so much to me, and which has become like my family and adoptive home.

I am also grateful for the opportunity to grow my leadership skills.

Jin Wicked at MSP Fallcon 2019

Mark, Root, and I have also been working more regularly on the COMIC BROS Podcast we record together, including a newly-revamped logo and illustrative episode teasers. I am especially proud of Mark and Root’s efforts in Houston, where they have organized a “Drink and Draw” meetup, become regulars at local shows, and engaged in other community activities. Root has been doing a remarkable job with the COMIC BROS Instagram feed, Facebook page, and blog. Mark has done great interview work! Also on Twitter and Youtube.

I talk some about my evolving personal goals in this month’s episode.

For the next three weeks, I will be working on sketch cards in preparation for Grand Rapids Comic-Con, my final show of the season. After I return, I will be taking a break from conventions until MSP Springcon 2020 next May, to focus on producing my next two books, certification for HHA/CNA, and my volunteer work. This was a year that has been about outwardly-facing energies for me, and personal battles, which I will write more about over time. Now that I feel like I have reached a situation of authenticity and stability, I am ready to turn my attention inward and move on to the next phase in my development.

Please consider supporting my Patreon if you are not already.

On Fear, Vol 2

Posted in general, health, politics on October 12th, 2019 by Jin Wicked – Comments Off on On Fear, Vol 2

“The cynics may be the loudest voices – but I promise you, they will accomplish the least.” – Barack Obama

This was originally written in my reflective early-morning hours as a Facebook post, but I wanted to preserve it here as an addendum to my previous post about fear. One of the fears I have struggled most with is feeling silenced — by intimidation and fear of criticism. This is not limited strictly to politics, but to negative experiences and traumas I have had as well. The inability to discuss many things I have been going through has been psychologically devastating for me, as a person whose main avenue of expression and understanding my world is through my artwork and comics. Victim-blaming is still pervasive even among “enlightened” and “woke” people. In several cases my traumas, and efforts to mentally reconcile doing “the right thing” while understanding what happened to me, have not only been minimized and invalidated, but actually turned into a running joke and/or used an as excuse to abuse me further.

Until recently, I have been flailing around in this no-man’s-land of denial, self-blame, being told how I feel and how I remember things is not correct, being told who I am, being told what is wrong with me — you get the idea.

I have also surpressed a lot of anger out of a desire to be “nice” and “good” and “liked” when I had real, legitimate reasons to be upset. Unfortunately for those who have attempted to gaslight me (and for me gaslighting myself), in the process of learning healthy conflict and building a loving relationship with Steve, I now have a much better-calibrated gauge for recognizing abuse.

I don’t like thinking of myself as a victim. This has been a process.

The irony is realizing the things you thought you wanted, were never worth it in the first place, and only looked appealing through the warped perspectives of the past. Authenticity sets you free. Onward and upward…


“There are a lot of politics in the Lunch Break archive.

It was something I used to be very passionate about. I grew up in a right-wing household. I listened to Rush Limbaugh until the early 2000s. It wasn’t until I left Texas, and started spending time in Canada and with people from other countries, that I started to question the things I had always believed.

I got a lot of angry and hateful feedback for my criticisms of the Bush administration and evangelical Christianity. But most of the things I was ‘over-reacting’ about back then have become noticeably, undeniably worse and/or more extreme. I do feel a little bit, just a little bit, vindicated here.

I don’t hate religion. I’m an atheist that somewhat regularly goes to Catholic Mass. I try to live by certain values I admire — love your neighbour, turning the other cheek, helping those less fortunate. Things Christians give a lot of really vocal lip service to — but precious few actually walk the walk.

I was a delegate for President Obama’s campaign in the 2008 primary fight against Hillary Clinton. I don’t really have strong feelings about Hillary, but I am not much a fan of political dynasties, either. That was a bitter fight.

Obama turned out to be not much better than Bush, if at least better-spoken and more Presidential. I suppose I am a disillusioned Millennial.

I’ve stayed away from politics for a long time — mainly because I was going through too much of my own shit, and just too tired to argue anymore.

Sometimes it is so tempting to give in to nihilism and hedonism.

But the ‘right’ path is rarely the ‘easy path.’ And the ‘status quo’ is also rarely the right path, being easy — it’s much easier, and less scary, to fight change rather than embrace it. It is much easier to lie to ourselves about the dangers of greenhouse gases and environmental pollution, than to endure the inconvenience and disruption of systemic change.

It much easier to lie to ourselves that the poor and downtrodden did something to deserve their bad fortune, even though the whole game is rigged to funnel ever-more wealth to the top. You literally cannot win.

Decades of trickle-down economics; the gas-lighting of the working class.

Centuries of racism, sexism, xenophobia, social wedge issues, and union-busting to keep the working class busy fighting each other.

But the ability to be apathetic towards politics is, itself, a privilege.

So this teenager, this young woman, Greta, comes — and she speaks before the world with a great deal of passion about something she believes in. She wants all of the things that I have been told, since childhood, are unquestioningly good — a clean, healthy planet for future generations. Unpolluted water to drink. Clear air to breathe. Sustainability.

And I would be lying if, when I watched her speak, I didn’t see some of myself — a young, idealistic person full of life, before the darkness and depression dragged me under. She has not yet cracked. She is stronger than I was. She has endured far more nastiness than I ever have.

And I also see something I have long been unwilling to acknowledge — the depths to which people will go to preserve their comfortable lies and inertia. The ugliness. The level of hatred, of venom, of dismissiveness, of mockery — for someone who, whether you like it or not, whether you agree with her or not — is trying to make a positive difference in the world.

And then I saw all of the adults who told me to sit down, shut up, stay in my place — a little differently. I saw all of the people who have tried to silence me through the same methods used on her — a little differently.

I saw through the loathing. I saw the fear.

When you realize the people you were afraid of — were actually afraid of you all along — of change, of something inside you, of something they avoid in themselves, of something you represent. I think that’s when you really discover your internal seat of power. The enemy is always fear.

Fear of failure. Fear of exposure. Fear of the other. Fear of judgement. Fear of vulnerability. Fear of pain. Fear of loss. Fear of change.

I don’t have a good answer, beyond encouraging everyone to leave their comfort zone, and do the inner work to sit with and confront their fears.

It has taken me almost forty years to finally stand up for myself.

It has taken me almost forty years to stand up to fear.

2008-02-19 Barack Obama

2008-03-03 Barack Obama

2020 Convention Booth

Posted in work on September 18th, 2019 by Jin Wicked – Comments Off on 2020 Convention Booth

Hot diggity damn! And I am finally learning to use Adobe Illustrator!

2020 Convention Booth

2020 Convention Booth

2020 Convention Booth

2020 Convention Booth

2020 Convention Booth

I am closing out 2019 with three shows! Hope to see you soon!

Sept 21-22 LionCon in Saint Cloud, Minnesota
Oct 5 MCBA Fallcon 2019 in Saint Paul, Minnesota
Nov 8-10 Grand Rapids Comic-Con in Grand Rapids, MI

On Fear

Posted in general, health on September 12th, 2019 by Jin Wicked – Comments Off on On Fear

“Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.” – Dorothy Thompson

Since returning from San Diego Comic-Con, I have been deeply into one of my more inward-looking phases. I am working on a much longer written piece, to accompany an illustraton I have been slowly inking. I also have been focused on cleaning up the minor accumulation of “mess” in my office since earlier this year, and picked up where I left off last fall correcting my book-keeping.

My book-keeping is/was the last major obstacle standing in my way — while I am not really afraid of it, it had snowballed into quite an intimidating problem. The difference after being on ADHD medication for half of a year is incredible. This overwhelming task that has been dogging me for years, which I had put off time and time again due to honestly being unable to handle it — Sunday, I said, “It’s time!” sat down, and bulldozed most of it within a few hours.

I really do not think it is possible to adequately explain to someone, who has not experienced it — how life-changing it is to do what you want to do, when you want to do it. To not be slave to your own thoughts and distractions like a puppet on a string, or constantly at battle with your own impulses.

In the spring of 2018, on one of my regular trips to the Goodwill, I found this jacket printed with butterflies. “This is important,” I thought, like the mashed-potato-guy in Close Encounters. I have had a mild phobia of butterflies since I was a child, which is obviously ridiculous — what better reason then, to place myself into an uncomfortable predicament for your amusement? So, my friend Jon Heller and I set out to the Minnesota State Fair butterfly house, where I spent about half an hour among mostly Blue morpho butterflies.

I was chuffed at the number of compliments about my video-editing.

I love to sing. I have always loved to sing. When I was in grade school, I was considered “gifted” — breezed through classes, could draw, studied multiple musical instruments. When you say someone has a “thing” — so-and-so likes basketball, so-and-so loves to ride horses, so-and-so excels at math — I had a lot of “things.” My younger siblings had many fewer “things” than I did, one of them being singing. This entitled my family to belittle my efforts at singing, openly and frequently enough, that eventually I developed a paralyzing fear of doing it at all. Singing became relegated to the safety of my vehicle, and a few suspect audio recordings on cassettes or shared from behind a computer screen. Thus it was something of a Big Deal when I managed to first record a video of myself singing in 2016. It would take two more years, in late 2018, before I became daring enough to belt it out. And it would take another year after that, and one aborted attempt, before I participated in karaoke.

And it took me more than an hour before I finally stepped up.

I share this not because I believe it is good, but because it does not have to be. This is not about the simple act of singing, but about having the courage to follow your heart’s joy and be true to yourself, even in the face of fear and potential judgement. I believe that embracing one’s faults and imperfections is essential to the growth process. It is a core component of happiness, and of human wholeness. If you are “never wrong,” you will never be right.

Some people make fun of me for my videos, but that is okay.

“I am one of the only people I know,” I told my therapist, “who regularly puts themselves into situations where I know I will have to confront my fears and weaknesses.” “I think there is an admirable quality to that,” she replied.

There are, of course, people I have feared at times in my life, beginning with my parents. I think, on reflection, that an unconscious desire to confront and resolve those fears was part of what drove me to revisit the relationships of my past starting in 2014. I needed answers from the people who have hurt me. I needed to understand why. But once you have stepped through this Matrix and can see the fear and insecurity at the root of hurtful behaviours, it becomes almost impossible to not have compassion, even when compassion is probably undeserved. Perhaps especially when it is undeserved.

The world is changing and we need now, more than ever, to become greater than fear; to rise above fear, and make a conscious effort to understand each other. If we cannot work together, then there is no hope for the future.

I encourage you to step a little outside your comfort zone today.

Creator Spotlight: Mighty Pegasus Art

Posted in spotlight on September 1st, 2019 by Jin Wicked – Comments Off on Creator Spotlight: Mighty Pegasus Art

“Creator spotlight” is a recurring feature of this blog where once per month, I introduce you to the biography and creative work of some of my best friends and colleagues. Please take a moment to learn about them!

This spotlight is on friend Mighty Pegasus Art. In Victor’s own words…


“Hello, everyone! My name is Victor, but I am known as Mighty Pegasus Art! I am an artist based in Saint Paul, Minnesota, and I started my journey as an artist in September 2018 doing comic and anime conventions. My goal is to inspire anyone to start their own journey to find their true self, and express themselves truthfully with art.”

“Before I go any further in my introduction, I would like to take this moment to thank Jin Wicked for giving me the opportunity to share my story with you all!! I met Jin Wicked recently during the grand opening of a local comic store, and she shared a little of her time to give me some great advice to be a successful artist. Thank you Jin!!”

All Might Plus Ultra by Mighty Pegasus Art

“As I mentioned, I’m based in Saint Paul, Minnesota, but I was born and raised in France. I moved to Florida in 2003, then moved to Minnesota in 2009. I have the very typical artist’s story — I have been drawing since a very young age, but was always afraid to try to follow my dream and become an artist. So after high school, I quit drawing for a very long time. Fast-forward 13 years later — it’s early 2017, and I was looking back at what I had accomplished after I finished high school. I did not go to college right away. I joined the U.S. Navy at 21 years-old, and had just separated in 2016 from the military. I was a little lost. I went from one job to another just to figure out what I really wanted to do, but no jobs really made me happy. I then saw an old friend of mine who still lived in France. He became an artist like we used to talk about when we were kids. His artist name is Kazamatt. His Facebook was full of events that he attended, helped promote, and exhibited his art! I was so amazed! Since that day, I got back in touch with him, and I started drawing again!”

Wonder Woman Ultimate by Mighty Pegasus Art

“For one whole year, all I did was get back into my passion and try to get better than ever. During that one year of just drawing for myself, I stumbled upon another artist who is known for doing many conventions while vlogging his journey. His name is Christopher Cayco. He inspired me to push myself even more and better myself. At this point, it was almost the end of 2017, and I decided to become an anime/comic convention artist! So for the next whole year, I studied more, I prepared art prints, and I searched for upcoming shows and booked them. In November 2018, I went to my first comic convention in the Artist Alley at Wizard World Con in Madison, WI. I had such a wonderful time! I met people that really loved my art, and who got inspired to become artists themselves! I never looked back since! Today, I’m still going from city to city and convention to convention to showcase my art and my passion. I continue to help, support, and inspire young artists to follow their dream of becoming an artist!”

Venom Rage by Mighty Pegasus Art

Learn more:
Mighty Pegasus Art @ Store Envy
Mighty Pegasus Art @ Facebook
Mighty Pegasus Art @ Instagram
Mighty Pegasus Art @ Youtube
Mighty Pegasus Art @ Twitch